LWLU – Sweet Sixteen
Time stopped. Breath was impossible. A million things yet nothing at all raced through her mind.
Veronica’s stool scraped against the tiled floor. “I think I’ll just go freshen up before dinner.”
Silence lingered long after Veronica’s rushed departure. Sara flicked her tongue over suddenly dry lips. “I didn’t think anyone knew about that.”
“Except Roni, judging from her lack of reaction to the news.”
“I needed someone to talk to about it.”
“You could have talked to me.”
“Nika…it was back in high school and…”
“I know when it was, Sara, but after your little speech about how you would have liked to know that your friend and your boyfriend had gotten it on…” Nika drummed her fingernails on the island. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t even care that you slept with him. We’ve been friends since we were little girls. I just can’t believe you never told me.”
Sara averted her eyes, mentally counting the stripes on the dish towel hanging from the oven’s handle. “I didn’t want anyone to know. I thought that if everyone in the group knew about it then things would get awkward when we were all together after that and I didn’t want anything to have to change.” She met Nika’s gaze. “It’s not that I didn’t want to tell you; I just saw Roni first and it all came pouring out.” She let out a shaky breath. “How long have you known?”
“Long time. Since Mike and I got serious.”
“Why didn’t you say something?”
“I was waiting on you, Sara.”
“Nika…”
“Don’t.” She held up her well-manicured hand to fend off whatever barrage of words Sara had planned for her. “I don’t want to do the whole I’m sorry for the past thing with you. It’s not gonna matter anyway. This is your birthday weekend so let’s just enjoy that.” She pushed away from the island and stood up. “I’m going to go veg out in my room for a while before dinner.”
“But…Are we okay?”
Nika stopped at the doorway, turning with a slight smile on her lips that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Yeah. Of course. We’re good. Hoes over bros, right?”
“Always.”
Did that have to include Michael?
Sara found that very question looping through her mind long after she was left in the virtual solitude of the kitchen. Cheering and the sounds of slapping hands over a scored goal in the next room invaded her thoughts. She needed to get away, needed to clear her thoughts before she had to face everyone at dinner, but nowhere in the house would be without company or memory. Judging from the smells of deliciousness coming from the oven there wouldn’t be enough time to go for a drive. Even if there were, the roads would be slick and it would be poor manners as hostess.
A quick dart of her eyes to the window revealed that the snow had let up enough to make a walk outside possible. Grabbing her spare coat off the hook by the back door, she shrugged into it and slipped out into the crisp air. She moved at as brisk a pace as was possible in the freshly fallen snow and wiped the dusting of powder clear from the bench in the gazebo once she’d reached her destination.
Despite the threats looming within the clouds above the grounds were peaceful. All around was the white solitude that only the snow could provide. Sara almost wished a blizzard would blow through. Then the outside would match the turmoil raging inside her heart.
For the briefest of moments, her mind flashed to the last time her heart had been in turmoil during the first break in the snow and she had to fight to catch her breath at the memory. Why did everything have to come back to Michael? One way or another, she would need to reconcile her feelings for him by the end of the weekend if she were ever going to cope with him as a married man – or have any sort of a normal life herself.
But the pull of the memory was too strong and, unbidden, Sara lost herself to it…
It was her sixteenth birthday. Sweet sixteen. It was the birthday to which every young woman looks forward. That year she got the best present she could have imagined: her mother’s cancer went into full remission. Every prayer had been answered and she was going to get the gift of time.
Just not that day…
Her parents still needed to take the jet to the Mayo Clinic to meet with a specialist about her mother’s condition – just to confirm none of the test results had been misread. With a smile on her face and tears in her heart, Sara told her mother to go…that it was more important than spending her birthday with her. Sara would have many more birthdays to share with her mother. If only she’d known.
Nika did her best to get her out of the house that night for dinner with the gang, but Sara wasn’t up to it. If she couldn’t celebrate her special day with all the people who mattered in her life then she didn’t want to celebrate at all. A night at home in front of the television was the better way to go in this case.
So that’s exactly what she was doing sprawled out on top of her covers on her bed when Michael lifted open the second story window and stuck his head inside. “You really know how to party, Sare Bear.”
“And you really know how to let in the cold air. In or out.”
Wordless, Michael climbed inside and shut the window behind him. He kicked off his shoes and removed his coat before sitting beside her on the bed. “What are we watching?”
“I dunno. Crap.”
Her answer didn’t seem to surprise him. “Okay. What are we drinking tonight then?”
Sara giggled. “Busted.” She rolled onto her back away from him to reach the floor on the far side of the bed where the bottle was sitting. She wasn’t the least bit shy to be wearing only her satin baby doll pajamas. This was only Michael and he was her best friend. Handing it to him, “I don’t remember, but I think it’s working.”
“Then I think you’ve had enough.”
“Would it matter if I told you I didn’t know what it was when I started drinking it and I haven’t had very much?”
Michael took the bottle from her hands and set it on the floor at the foot of the bed. “Considering a few beers will normally loop you out, that doesn’t make much of a difference.” He frowned at the paper plate on the bed between them. “What is that?”
“Peanut butter banana sandwiches. Haven’t you ever had one?”
“Aren’t you supposed to have bread with those?”
Sara broke into a fit of giggles over the confusion on his face. “Bread? That’s disgusting, Michael. My mom always just sliced the banana in half and smeared the peanut butter in the middle of it and then pressed the two halves together like the banana pieces were the bread.”
“Well, this may be a stupid question to ask since you don’t even know what you’ve been watching or drinking, but why haven’t you sliced the bananas that way and why do you have a giant glob of peanut butter on the plate?”
Sara rolled her eyes at him. “Have you ever actually tried to smear peanut butter on the inside of a banana? It’s way too slimy and it doesn’t stay for me the way it does for my mom. I think it’s easier to dip the bananas into the peanut butter.”
“Then you don’t have peanut butter banana sandwiches, do you? You just have peanut butter and bananas.”
She dunked a slice of banana into the peanut butter and shoved it into his mouth, getting a glob of peanut butter on her finger in the process. “It’s my birthday so I can call it whatever I want.” She made a half-hearted attempt to look for a napkin and then placed her finger in her mouth to suck off the peanut butter.
Michael cleared his throat and lay down beside Sara with his head at the foot of the bed, propping it up on his elbow. “I heard about your mom. I thought you’d be happier.”
“I am happy. It’s really great news, Michael.”
“I know it is. I’m just wondering what’s going on with you.”
Sara popped a piece of banana into her mouth. “Nothing’s going on with me. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I know you, Sara.”
“Why did they have to go today?” Tears welled in her coppery eyes. “Would one day really have made that big a difference? I mean, we get this amazing news today of all days and we can’t even celebrate it as a family. It’s not fair, Michael. It’s not fair.”
Soft fingers brushed the tears from her face. “Did you tell them that?”
Sara let herself lean into his touch for a moment before opening her eyes. “No. I told her she should go. So I don’t get to be upset.”
“You can be upset, Sara.”
“But I told them to go.”
“Parents don’t always have to do what their children tell to do.”
“Okay…I just…” Sara covered her face with her hands. “I feel like I’m losing my mind. Is this what it feels like to turn sixteen?”
Michael removed one of her hands. “I can’t really help you there. I don’t remember my 16th birthday because Linc got me hammered.”
“Ah…so you should catch up so you don’t have to remember mine either.”
Still holding the hand he’d removed from her face, he stroked her fingers with his. “Naw, your birthday is more special than mine. How about we sober you up so you can actually remember what’s left of yours?”
“I don’t see why I’d ever want to do that, Scofield, but this is going to take lots and lots of hot chocolate.” Sara pushed herself up into a sitting position and grinned. “And more peanut butter banana sandwiches.”
Michael grabbed the bottle of liquor and the plate from the bed. “I’m on it, Tancredi. You find something on TV for us to watch.”
“Are you okay?”
Sara blinked as she looked up into the cloud-brightened sky, ripped from the memory of that night. “Yeah. I’m good.”
“You never were a good liar.” Michael sat down on the bench beside her. “Why don’t you tell me what it’s going to take to put a smile back on that pretty face?”
“I can’t.”
“Why?”
Sara took in a long, soothing breath and then turned to meet his enchanting steel blue gaze. “Because the one thing I want is the one thing I can never have, Michael.”
