LWLU – Regret Revisited

She didn’t know what to think anymore. Michael didn’t abandon her in the way she thought. Did that make things any better? Sara couldn’t decide. In the end, he did abandon her, just not the way she thought. And he cheated on her, erm…with her.

Was she any worse off now because Veronica kept Michael from talking to her while she was at her most vulnerable?

Coming home from the hospital to find Michael waiting in her room to talk to her might have made a difference. He always knew exactly what to say to her to get what he wanted. With all the pain meds in her system, she would believe any lie he told her about why he hadn’t told her the truth about him and Jessica. Hell, she might have told him the one secret about that night she’d hidden from everyone for all these years.

The one secret that made her wish Paul had let her die that night…

After her mother’s funeral?  She didn’t know how seeing Michael would affect her. Sara didn’t remember anything after the funeral…or the next day…or the following week, for that matter. It was all just a blur of pain and the hot tea Veronica and Nika kept forcing her to drink when she refused to eat.

That it was unfair was an understatement. Everything with Michael Scofield was a regret for sure, but it paled in comparison to the siren’s song of death all around her. Why did she get to live when two more deserving perished? Life was supposed to be a precious gift, but to Sara, it was little more than a cruel joke Fate played on her.

“Sara, can I…Are you okay?”

Stupid question, Scofield, she thought without mirth. When you walk in on a person who was sprawled out face-down on the bed, they were definitely not okay. She didn’t bother to answer his question, to even look up. “What do you want, Michael?”

She heard him close the door and felt his weight dip the mattress when he sat down next to her. “I wanted to ask you something, but it can wait right now. I know you haven’t been okay since everyone got here yesterday, but something seems especially wrong right now.”

Should she tell him?

Could she tell him?

No.

“Something’s always especially wrong. Just ask your question and go away.”

He stroked her back. “You can talk to me, Sara.” His fingers smoothed unruly strands of hair on her shoulder. “I’m your friend first. Regardless of whatever is going on between us, I’m still your friend.”

“Nothing’s going on between us, Michael. You’re just an ass.”

“I’m not trying to be.”

“Then you’re just naturally good at it. You always have been.”

He sighed. “If you would just let me talk to you then you’d see I’m really not.”

“I don’t want to see and I don’t want to talk. I want to be alone. Please, just ask me whatever you need to know.”

He took his hand off her. “I can’t find the bag from the jewelry store. Have you seen it?”

Yeah, it’s at the back of closet. Start digging, jerk. Aloud, “No. Now get the fuck out.”

Silent, she felt the mattress rebound under the loss of his weight. The door opened and closed with little more sound. Then…

Perfect silence.

What was with Michael and the damn engagement ring bag? He’d made his point the first time she saw him with it. She didn’t need to take the ring out for a full inspection to understand he was marrying Nika. Or did he just want her to be his mistress again as she’d been before?

The door opened. “What part of get the fuck out did you not understand?”

“What’s going on, Sara? I know something has to be majorly wrong for Michael to be so worried about you that he comes to get me.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

She felt his weight on the bed. “Tough.”

“Tough?”

“Yeah.” He gathered the strands of hair covering her cheek and gathered them in his hand. “We’re talking about whatever this is. When my girlfriend’s got her face buried in the mattress and talking in a monotone, I’m worried as hell.”

She pushed herself up onto her elbows and turned her face towards him. “Why do you love me, Paul?”

He grinned. “How much time do you have? I have a lot of reasons for loving you?”

“No, I mean…how can you possibly love someone like me?”

“I…” He cocked his head. “I’m not sure what you mean, angel.”

“I killed someone. Paul, how can you possibly love me when I’m a murderer?”

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