LWLU – “I’m Pregnant”

Before Sara could pull her eyes away from Paul through the window and turn to her friend, she added, “I’m pregnant.”

Sara glanced around the room and gestured in the direction of her bedroom. “Let’s talk in there where we’ll have some privacy.” Once she’d closed the door, “Are you sure?  I mean, completely sure?”

She closed her eyes and nodded. “I knew right away.”

“Roni…How long have you been pregnant?” Lincoln would be devastated if Veronica was having Nick’s baby.

“It happened last night. Lincoln and I weren’t careful.” She shook her head. “Not at all. Not even a little bit.”

“That doesn’t really mean anything. Lots of people have unprotected sex without getting pregnant.”

Veronica toyed with the strings on the miniblinds. “I know that. But, Sara, I know I’m pregnant. I’m ovulating. I know better than this.”

“Are you sure?” Sara thought for a second. “How do you even know when you’re ovulating for sure?”

“It happens halfway in between periods.”  Her hand stilled and she glanced over her shoulder. “How do you not know that?”

“I…uh…”

“It doesn’t matter. You’re not the one who got drunk and knocked up. I am. I’m going to end up dropping out of college, I just know it.”

“You know you’re freaking out a little early, right?”

Veronica sighed and sank down onto the bed. “I know, but I need to get the freaking out part over with before I see Lincoln again. He can’t handle this. I’m going to lose him all over again.”

“Maybe not.”

“Sara, Lincoln’s…”

“…Completely in love with you.”

“Yeah, he was in love with me before, too. We both know how well that turned out.”

About the same as how it turned out with her and Michael, if memory served. “If that’s really how you feel, why did you sleep with him last night?”

“Well, because…uh…” She buried her face in her hands. “Because it’s Lincoln Burrows. I’ll never get over him. I’ve loved him since I was a little girl. I just…”

“Just what?” Sara sat on the mattress next to her.

“Sara,” she met her friend’s eyes with tears glistening, “I’m freaking out because I don’t care that I just ruined my life. Not even a little bit. It’s Lincoln.”

“I’m confused.”

“So am I. It doesn’t make any sense. Lincoln’s a distraction from my academic and career goals. He always has been.” Veronica fell back onto the bed. “I should be hysterical about having to drop out of school and let go of the law school dream to raise the baby, but I don’t even care about that. All I have are these damn gooey feelings about watching Lincoln’s face light up whenever he comes home and holds the baby.” She placed careful hands on her stomach. “I’m insane for this, but even knowing this was the outcome, I’d still sleep with him if I could go back to last night.”

When exactly did her levelheaded friend lose her mind and start imagining pregnancy? “I still think you’re getting worked up over nothing. It’s way too early to find out if you’re really pregnant or just imagining things.”

“You’ll understand when you get pregnant, Sara. I felt it. I knew the second it happened that I was pregnant.”

Sara let the words turn round and round in her head. In a quiet voice, “You were drunk.”

“I still felt it. I can’t explain it, but I just knew it somehow.”  She sat up and turned suddenly to Sara. “Why am I not upset about this? Unplanned pregnancies that ruin all your plans are supposed to be upsetting…right?”

“Um…” How was she supposed to answer this question? “You know you don’t have to have the baby…if you’re really pregnant. You know that?”

Veronica’s jaw dropped and she blinked several times. “This isn’t some guy I hooked up with in a bar. It’s Lincoln. Lincoln. I know it doesn’t make sense, but…it’s Lincoln.”

It made more sense than Sara wanted to admit. Changing the subject, “Are you going to tell him?”

“Sara, I’m crazy, but I’m not crazy. I can’t tell him about this. Not until I know. I guess we’ll have to talk about how careless we were last night and everything…Can you even imagine the look on his face if I told him he had a little Lincoln Jr. on the way?”

“No.” The image of a stunned Lincoln trying to form words entered her mind and she giggled. “Yeah…I can.”

“I fail to see how any of this is funny, Sara.” Veronica glared at her for three seconds before dissolving into giggles. “Never mind. I just pictured it.” Her eyes went wide. “How am I going to explain why I’m not drinking tonight at dinner?”

“After being trapped on the carpet last night, I’d think anyone who saw you would understand.”

“What are you talking about?”

Sara shook her head. It was too hard to explain drunk behavior to someone once they’d sobered up. “Never mind. I won’t drink either. I’ll say the bucket of margaritas went bad or something and toss it out.”

“You’d really do that?”

“Sure.” It wouldn’t make sense for her to drink anyway. Nika wouldn’t be drinking because of her pregnancy, so…wait. Was Nika drinking last night? “How much do you remember from last night?”

“Erm…fire and inappropriate comments about sex with Paul. That’s about it.” After a beat, “Why?”

“Was Nika drinking last night?”

“I don’t know. I had a pretty good head start on everyone.” She shrugged. “Why does it matter? I’m the only one here not allowed to drink anymore.”

“Um…”

“Sara, what’s going on?”

She bit her lip. “I might have overheard something I wasn’t supposed to this morning. About Nika.”

“Okay. What’s the big deal? It’s not like…Omigod! Is Nika pregnant, too?”

It made Sara’s stomach sour to hear the words. “I…yeah. I think so.”

“How neat! We can have a joint baby shower and share pregnancy books and…oh. Are you okay?”

“Me? Yeah. I’m great, Roni. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Because you’re still obviously in love with Michael.”

“No, I’m not. I love Paul.”

Her eyes narrowed. “You might love Paul, but you aren’t in love with him the way you are Michael.”

“Do we have to talk about this?” Sara stared down at her hands wringing in her lap. “This weekend is difficult enough without having to pine over a man who never loved me.”

“Sara…” Veronica placed her hand on Sara’s to still their movement. “He did love you.”

“No, he didn’t. The way he was after…everything that happened…after my mom…” Her voice broke and she fought for composure. “He was completely not there for me. You don’t abandon someone you love like that. Not when they need you most.”

Veronica’s face went whiter than the sheets. “You’re going to hate me.”

“Hate you? I…” Understanding crept through her mind. “Veronica, what did you do?”

“Please don’t hate me. I…um, I…might have said something to Michael. Back then. At, uh, at your mother’s funeral.”

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