The instant the words passed her lips she regretted them. If she could have reached into the frozen air between them and plucked the words away before they reached his ears then she would have in a heartbeat. This wasn’t a conversation she could have with Michael. It wasn’t fair to him and it wasn’t right. Their chance had long since passed. That window was forever closed.
“That’s a cynical outlook, Sara.”
“It’s not cynical if it’s true.” Stop talking, Sara. Stop talking now.
“Oh, come on. You can have anything you want. I’ve never known you to let anything stand in the way of something important to you.” Understanding flickered through his eyes and his tone softened. “You’re talking about your mom, aren’t you?”
Okay, so there were two things Sara wanted and couldn’t have. At least this one wouldn’t destroy her friendship with Nika. “Yes.”
Michael put an arm of comfort around her shoulder and hugged her to his side. “I’m here for you any time you want to talk about it. You know that, right?”
“I know.”
“Your mom would be so proud of who you’ve grown up to be, Sara. Don’t forget that.”
“Okay.”
He sighed and withdrew his arm, moving enough so that he could see her eyes. “I need to talk to you about something.”
“No.”
“This is important.”
“Michael…no. If this is more of the I need to break up with Paul stuff then I don’t want to hear it right now.”
“But…”
“I said no.” Sara rose and moved to the other side of the gazebo, her back to Michael. “I should probably get back inside to check on dinner.”
“Paul’s going to let everyone know when it’s ready.” She could hear him move nearer. “Sara, there’s something I really want you to hear from me first before…”
She nearly jumped out of her skin when his hands met her shoulders. “Before Nika lets me know that she knows about us?”
There was a lot of silence. “What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about being blind-sided, Michael.” She turned slowly. “Why didn’t you warn me that Nika knew we’d slept together?”
Michael looked confused. “I didn’t think it mattered.”
“Didn’t think it mattered?” An invisible knife sliced straight through her heart.
“You know what I mean. I had to tell Nika when things got serious. I assume you’ve also told Paul by now.”
“He doesn’t know.” Her voice sounded more willowy than she meant for it to be. “I’d like to keep it that way.”
An unreadable look passed through his eyes before he nodded. “It’s not like I was planning to bring it up with him over drinks, Sara.” He held her gaze for a beat. “Maybe you should consider the strength of your relationship if you’re keeping secrets.”
“Don’t do this. Not right now.” Sara took a step back, but came up against the railing and could go no further. “I don’t want to talk about this.”
Michael took a step forward, eyes intense. “Why?”
“Because my relationship with Paul is none of your business.”
“That may be true.” He reached out to brush a flake of newly-fallen snow off her face, letting his fingers linger on her cheek. “But you, Sara Tancredi, are very much my business.”
She could barely breathe. “How do you figure?”
The hand not on her face moved to the railing at her back, boxing her in with his nearness. He didn’t say a word; he just held her gaze until she lost herself in his eyes. Slow fingers moved from her cheek to her neck and his eyes dipped once from hers to her lips before returning, heavy with intent.
“Michael…”
“No more talking, Sara.”
“I need you, Michael!”
Nika’s words carried on the wind to them from the back door like a tidal wave. From her position and distance away, it was impossible for her to have seen anything, but Michael still jumped away as though caught in the act. Deep down, Sara knew that the guilt on his face was a reflection of the look on hers.
Sara was first to gather both wits and voice. “Please…just go inside and leave me alone for a few minutes. Please.”
He looked as though he wanted to respond, but his words of protest died on his lips and he nodded once before he left her alone with her thoughts. Unfortunately, her thoughts were perhaps the very last things she wanted to be left alone with – especially right now. Her thoughts didn’t seem to want to turn to the wonderful man inside the house who’d rearranged something important to make sure he was back in time for his girlfriend’s birthday; the man who had waited five and a half long months without complaint and who would wait another seventeen days before he made any sort of a move on her because that was what she wanted. No, they wanted to turn instead to the man who didn’t seem to think it mattered that they’d slept together.
And just like that, Sara was transported back to her room, waiting on Michael to bring up the snacks…
© 2009, Sydney Katt. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use of content will result in dragon attacks.
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