Alliance – Chapter 89

I was amazed at what a fool I really was as Price demonstrated how to hold and use the gun with which I would have to appear comfortable. How did it not occur to me before now that I would have to know about this to fool Raptor? It would have been so much simpler if I had made up some excuse about how I didn’t like to use guns during a holdup because of the possible jail time, or that I was against guns – which was partially true since my father had lost his life because of one. If I had thought of anything to say other than what I had then I wouldn’t be in the predicament I now found myself in.

The instant I felt the weight of the cool steel in my hands, I knew that I was in trouble. Price made it all look so easy, but there was something wrong about the way they felt. When he held them and gestured, each gun looked like an extension of his own hand, like something he’d held his whole life. Surely it was just the lack of practice that made me feel so out of place holding them.

No…not even close. Something just like what was now in my hand had ended my father’s life. I would never appear comfortable because I would never be comfortable.

Unemotionally, I mimicked the movements Price had just shown me, but I could tell from the disapproving look in his green eyes that this was not the sort of thing I was a quick study at.  He stood up and crossed the short distance of the living room to me.

“Here,” Price said as he motioned for me to give him back the guns.

I shook my head and frowned at him. “No. I can’t learn by watching you. I have to do it for myself.”

“Okay,” he replied, “suit yourself, but you are going to have to look more comfortable. When you leveled the guns and brought them out to the side I thought you had a better chance of taking yourself down than a bank.”

“It isn’t exactly the sort of thing I do all of the time.”

“Well, I can’t exactly tell you how to be comfortable and you can’t follow an example so I would say we have a problem.”

“I know.” I let them dangle from my index fingers and added, “Is it too late to pretend I have an aversion to guns?”

“I would say so. It was too late the first time you got in touch with Chill.” He appeared thoughtful for a second and then gave me a guarded look. “I have an idea, but I don’t want you to freak out on me.”

“And why would I do that?” I asked, skeptical. It wasn’t like I freaked out over every little thing he said or did…Did I?

“I think I can guide you if I get closer to you…”

“Whatever.”

I hoped my tone sounded as nonchalant to his ears as I had intended it to. The reality of the situation was that I had to force myself to breathe normally when he walked up behind me. He was so close to me as he guided my arms through the motions that I could feel his breath on the back of my neck. Despite the heat of it, a chill swept throughout my body, forcing me aware of my emotions.

The decision to sleep with Price had never been one I made consciously – at least, not that night in the hotel. I had only intended to talk to him when I followed him back to his hotel, but things happened so quickly that I let myself get caught up in the moment. The champagne I was drinking that night undoubtedly was a factor as well because I was not a woman who randomly took lovers. Then again, not getting laid in two years was also sure to be a major part of it.

It took several minutes to become comfortable with the weapons in my hands. The air between us was tense – sizzling with tension, actually – which made me wonder whether my very private thoughts were obvious to Price. I got my answer when he let go of my arms and spoke to me.

“That’s good. Better. I think you have it now.” His voice was on edge, but he didn’t move away from me.

I turned around slowly, fully aware of his nearness. The knowledge that something might be about to happen, that I actually wanted something to happen, was electrifying. My pulse was racing, but I didn’t attempt to conceal it from him as I looked into his eyes.

I didn’t have to.

We stood as still as stone statues, gazing into one another’s eyes, for what felt like a lifetime. Neither of us spoke; neither of us moved. I might have been holding my breath, but I didn’t really know. The only things that seemed to register in my mind were the butterflies in my stomach, dancing in anticipation.

Suddenly, as though moved by some elemental force, the gap between us was bridged. The passion in his kiss caught me off guard and I heard the soft thud of the guns hitting the carpeted floor. Guess they weren’t loaded. Good thing, too. I had no desire for an errant bullet to cut this moment short.

Price made a rough sound when he encircled my waist with his arms to pull me nearer and I wrapped my arms around his neck in response. I wasn’t sure how long we stood in the middle of my living room that way and I certainly didn’t know at what point I decided I wanted him more than Raptor’s identity. Perhaps I had made that decision a long time ago and was only now finally aware of it.

All I was really certain of was that I wanted to take this further.  I was tired of hiding my physical responses to him. I was tired of playing these coy little games.

I wanted him and I wanted him to know it.

I let my hands slip from his neck down to his chest and began to work the buttons on his shirt. His heart pounded against my hands, much the same way my heart was pounding in my chest. The number of buttons on his shirt infuriated me as I fumbled along blindly, hating that the space between our bodies to accommodate my hands was necessary.

Before I was halfway done, Price abruptly broke away from me and gathered my hands in his.

“What?” I asked breathlessly. I knew there was a dazed look in my eyes, that I appeared vulnerable, but I didn’t care. For the first time, I didn’t care.

“I’m sorry,” he began in a slow, measured tone. “I shouldn’t have done that. You should probably get to bed.”

I caught my breath and chose my words with care. “Come with me,” I offered from beneath lowered lashes.

“We both know that isn’t a good idea,” Price said. His voice was so quiet that I wouldn’t be sure he’d spoken if I hadn’t just watched his lips move.

“You don’t want me?”

“Don’t do that. You know goddamned good and well that isn’t it, so don’t even play the wounded dove routine with me.” After a long moment, he hesitantly added, “I’ve never denied wanting you.”

If we were on the same page about his, what were we still doing fully clothed in the living room? “Then what’s the problem?”

Price shook his head. “I know what you really want from me and I’m not prepared to give you Raptor’s real name. I’d rather not even get into something we aren’t going to finish.” His eyes narrowed. “Again.”

“I’m willing to put a pin in that one for tonight.” I brushed a light kiss against his lips. “I can’t deny that something is going on between us. Not anymore.” I nuzzled my head against his neck. “You can’t either.”

“I won’t try to deny it because I can’t, but I’m not sure that it’s enough to keep you from turning on me again once you’re done putting pins in things.” He waited for me to meet his cautious look. “You’ve already leapt out of bed to hurl accusations at me once. That was enough for me.”

I blinked in surprise. “I can’t believe you’re using that against me. You kept information from me that I should have known first. You’re still keeping it from me.”

“I’m not going to fight with you about this, Skylar. Not tonight. Not for the next four nights.”

“You’re a real bastard,” I snapped. “You won’t give me anything I need. What the hell good are you?”

I could tell that my words hurt him, but he recovered his usual cool demeanor before he spoke. “I’ll be a bastard to you no matter what I do here tonight. I would rather be a bastard for not going to bed with you than for being accused of using you. Again.” He dropped my hands and turned away from me. “Goodnight, Skylar.”

Without another word to him, I stalked off into my bedroom, changed clothes and crawled into my lonely bed. What the hell just happened?

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