Alliance – Chapter 24

“Did they ever prove if the agent was on the take?”

Jenna shook her head and started gathering the dinner plates from the coffee table. “They turned over the information to your office, but you know how you guys handle everything internally. No one on my side ever heard what happened one way or the other.”

This new information cast more suspicion on his partner. Dinsley’s behavior was already suspect before this, but if he were on the take…Hopefully Jenna could turn up something more. Once he had something solid, he could confront Dinsley about his true interest in the case.

“Did they think he was working with Raptor?”

She considered that.  “Some do, some don’t, but I’ll see if I can find a connection.”

“I appreciate that, Jenna,” he said, gazing up into her deep brown eyes.

“It’s no trouble,” she replied. She held his gaze for a moment and then hurried out of the room.

Jackson followed her into the small kitchen.  Once she set the plates in the sink, he placed his hands on her shoulders and turned her to face him. “What are we doing?”

“Clearing the dinner dishes.”

“No. You and me. What are we doing?”

“I…don’t know anymore.”

“Babe, I don’t know either.” He searched her face for a long time, unsure what to say. Was there even anything left to say? “Jenna…sometimes it’s like you aren’t even here when we’re talking.”

She offered an apologetic smile. “Sorry. I was just thinking about something.”

“Care to share?”

“The time Blaine walked in and caught us fooling around in here.”

He remembered that day well. It was a good day. It was when they went from strictly friends to being on the verge of something more. “You were so embarrassed you could barely look anyone in the eye for the rest of the night.”

“And you were so turned on you could barely keep your hands off me back then.”

“Even now, it’s still all I can do to keep my hands off.”

Standing here now, it was as if they were different people than they were in the fall. The old Jenna wouldn’t have been wearing a slinky black skirt and deep blue silk blouse on a Friday night. And she sure wouldn’t be in shiny black heels. Looking at the woman he desired more than anything else in existence, it was almost as though what they shared those long months ago was a mirage.

Jackson couldn’t accept that.

He wouldn’t.

On some level, he realized this was it. There was a difference between taking things slow out of respect for the other person’s wishes and taking things slow because you didn’t want anything more. Jenna needed to know exactly where he stood, on the very off chance she didn’t already.

“You know how I feel about you and you know what I want. The only thing that’s changed for me from before is that I don’t have to hide my job anymore. Well that, and the fact that I never imagined missing you before the way I’ve missed you since I lost you.” He tried to read her face to see if he was getting through, but she was doing her lawyer face. No emotion. No real reaction. “Jenna…I have never stopped loving you. I haven’t stopped wanting you. Not for a single day. If you’d let me, I’d touch you and never take my hands off you again.”

She opened her mouth to say something, but no sound came out. Instead, her eyes locked on his, holding him captive. When she looked at him like that, Jackson forgot why it was he had to try so hard to keep his hands off her. With the tension between them turning into a thick curtain, he couldn’t remember why months had passed since their last kiss.

He lowered his lips to hers in a tentative kiss. He didn’t hurry, didn’t press for more. Instead, the kiss unfolded on its own accord. In his mind, no more talking belonged in the night, just this. Even though he wanted more from her, wanted her in every way, he was content in this moment.

Her fingertips grazed the back of his neck and contentment yielded to desire. She may believe their entire relationship was a lie, but to Jackson, nothing in his life was more real than when he was with her. Waiting for her to realize what he already knew approached the limits of what he could stand. The honey almond scent of her hair mingling with her lightly perfumed skin was intoxicating.

What he felt went beyond wanting her; it was need.

Her lips grew urgent against his and whimpering cries fluttered from her throat. He wasn’t imagining anything. She needed him, too.

She moved her hands to clutch at the front of his crisp white dress shirt. “Jackson…ohhh…”

That was it. He couldn’t handle slow for another instant, not unless he stopped right now. With effort, he tore himself away from her and stepped back, fighting for self-control. No matter how much he wanted to make a move, to make her his tonight, he couldn’t do it if it meant risking everything he wanted from her. A single night wasn’t close to good enough.

Jenna’s eyes flew open, confused. They regarded one another for several seconds before she closed the distance between them, wrapping her arms around his neck to pull him back to finish their kiss. Unthinking, Jackson pressed her against the wall, desperate to feel her body against his. Any moment, she’d push him away and accuse him of rushing her, but until she did, he wanted to enjoy the perfect way her curves melded into him.

She didn’t push him away.

Her tongue sparred against his, taking what she wanted, demanding satisfaction. More demanding was the leg that crept up around his waist, tightening and pulling him even closer. All his reason told him to stop, while every inch of his body begged him to ignore reason just this once.

He had to stop himself, yet he couldn’t. If it were any random women, he could control his instincts and urges. With any other woman, reason would win the day.

This wasn’t any other woman though. It was Jenna. His senses didn’t respond to reason concerning her.

“We should stop this,” he said, even as his fingers made short work of her blouse’s buttons.

Her hips writhed against him. “I know.”

It was becoming less and less possible to tear his lips from hers or to keep up with his line of thought. “Stopping is the responsible thing to do.” A hand stole into her shirt, molding around the thin satin of her bra.

Her breath came out in a shivering sigh at his touch. She tugged at his tie until she was able to loosen it. “I don’t want to be responsible. Not tonight.”

“You’re killin’ me.” His free hand slid up her thigh, moving under the skirt already bunching at her hips.

She arched her back and ground her hips against him in need. “Getting noble on me now? Unless you’re not as interested in me as you say, don’t you dare leave me unsatisfied tonight.”

“I want you bad right now, but…”

She grazed her lips against his throat. “I have protection, if that’s your hold up.” Her eyes met his as she pushed him back, wrestling with his belt until it was on the floor. “Bedroom, Caldwell. Now.”

Though it was nearly six months since they last made love, Jackson still remembered the exact number of steps to get there. What he didn’t remember was how much her fluffy grey cat loved to walk in the way. Jackson stumbled at the threshold to the bedroom and Jenna tripped over his feet.

They hit the carpet with a soft thud and didn’t miss a beat. Jenna pushed him onto his back and straddled him. In the near darkness of the room, he could see the look of determination on her face as she fought with his shirt buttons. Seeing how much she wanted him fueled a fresh wave of lust. So much blood was flowing to his erection that he’d be lightheaded if he were still on his feet.

The hips grinding over him while she worked the buttons didn’t help either…Or, more likely, they helped too much.

He rolled her onto her back and covered her body with his, lips moving along her jaw line. “God, I want you so much right now.”  He slipped a hand under her skirt to toy with the elastic of her panties. “I can barely stand it.”

In some ways, being with her like this, feeling the supple skin trembling under his fingers didn’t feel real, almost as though she’d vanish in a puff of smoke if he let her out from under him.

She grabbed his face with both hands, kissing him hard before she spoke. “Then cut the foreplay already and get inside me.” Shoving his hand out of the way, she shimmied off the panties.

No, this was definitely real. Not even in his most elaborate fantasies had she ever been this desperate to have him. Come to think of it, Jackson couldn’t remember her ever wanting him with so much urgency in the past. Whatever caused the abrupt change in her behavior towards him, he wasn’t going to blow it. He wasted no time moving off her and heading for the nightstand drawer.

But he didn’t find what he needed inside. Not even close. “If your idea of protection is completely turning me off, crime scene photos are probably the way to do it.”

Jenna let out a throaty laugh. “I study cases before bed, so I needed to clear out the condoms. The last thing I need is one falling out of a case file while I’m in court.”

“Then where…” His words trailed off when he turned back to her. Instead of where he’d left her on the carpet, Jenna was leaning a hip against her dresser, arms folded, foil packet flipping between her fingers, beckoning with the faint glimmer as she moved the foil.

“I guess we can call it a night if you’re too turned off now.”

“Oh, to hell with that.”

Jenna made short work of his zipper and sheathed him with the condom the moment he closed the gap between them. “Good call.”

“Jenna…”

“Shut up.” She hopped up onto the dresser and pulled him close. “You always did talk too much.”

Probably. He slid into her in one thrust, savoring the way her body felt around him. At the same time, she felt just the way he remembered, yet it was like nothing he felt before.

His rhythm was slow and even, his kiss soft and thorough. After the long months without her, it tested the very limits of his willpower to avoid a frenzy that would be over much too quickly. In truth, he didn’t want it to ever be over, which went against everything his body was screaming at his mind. The only compromise he could imagine was later taking his time to do it right, keeping Jenna awake long into the night.

How many sleepless nights had they both wasted during all the time spent apart?

She tore her mouth away from his. “Harder,” she demanded. Her hands gripped the edge of the dresser at either side of her hips. “I’m not going to break, Caldwell.”

“Someone’s demanding.” But he gave her exactly what she wanted, driving into her over and over with enough force to make the mirror bang against the wall.

“I’m not apologizing for knowing what I want.” She wrapped her legs around him, the point of her heel digging into the back of his thigh. “Ohhhhh…just like that.”

But Jackson was barely paying attention anymore now that animal instinct took control. His hands were sliding under her skirt again, this time to grip her hips to hold her in place. Somewhere, his brain registered her screams of ecstasy, but the muscles contracting around him as her orgasm ripped through her were what captured his attention. He luxuriated in the way it felt to drive the woman he loved wild with pleasure for a single instant before his own release nearly knocked him from his feet.

For an eternity, Jackson stayed inside her, wedging her against the smooth wood finish of the dresser. The ragged gasps as they caught their breath were the only sounds in the dark stillness of the room. Gradually, his vise grip on her hips lessened and he’d regained enough control of his breathing to brush a soft kiss against her smiling lips. He always knew they’d get past their problems, or he’d hoped they could. He just never imagined it would be quite so explosive.

Or on her dresser when the bed was a few feet away…

“You have no idea how much I needed that tonight.”

The lazy quality to her words made him grin. “If you thought that was good, give me about ten minutes to recover and we’ll do it right.”

Jenna pulled back when he tried to kiss her again. “I didn’t think there was anything wrong with that.”

“Well…no. But I think you know I can make it a hell of a lot better for you between the sheets.”

“Ummm…It’s just getting sort of late.”

He pulled out and discarded the condom in the wastebasket. “We don’t have to do anything you’re too tired to do.” His fingers brushed the chocolate brown strands of hair from her eyes, getting momentarily lost in the way the small amount of light in the room sparkled in them. “I’m fine with just holding you tonight.”

She hopped off the dresser and started buttoning her shirt. “Actually, I wasn’t thinking you’d stay.”

“You want me to go?”

“Yes. I think that’s probably best.”

What the hell? “If you didn’t want that, I wish you’d said something to me. You know I would’ve stopped.”

“Jackson…I did want that.” A note of exasperation crept into her voice. “Now I want you to go home.” She moved to the bedroom door and flipped on the light. “I really don’t see what’s so difficult about this.”

Jackson let out an aggravated sigh while he zipped his fly.  “Then help me understand.  If you don’t want me then why did you start it?”

“Excuse me?”  Jenna poked a finger into his chest.  “You kissed me, Caldwell.”

“And you kissed me back.  It’s the same thing.”

“No it isn’t.”

“Well…I stopped and you started it again.”

“You aren’t going to win this on a technicality.”

He shook his head.  What the hell was there for him to win when she was intent on sending him home? “We aren’t in the courtroom, Counselor, but if you’d like to get technical then you started all of this.  I was in D.C., trying to get on with my life when you showed up at my door to tell me you missed me.  Either you want me or you don’t.”

“So it’s black and white now?”

“Yeah.”

“I can’t believe you!  You used to be a lot a better at the whole seduction thing,” she began, folding her arms across her chest, “or was that just part of your cover, too?”

Jackson threw his hands up in disgust.  “I might have guessed you’d throw that in my face sooner or later.”

“And? You lied to me and you used me for your case. If you didn’t want to be reminded of what you did to me then you shouldn’t have done it in the first place.”

“So…what is this? You needed to get laid and I just happened to owe you dinner? Did it even matter to you that it was me inside you? Or would any guy around have done the trick for you tonight?”

“Are you kidding me with this?” Anger bit into her tone. “You’re actually getting pissy with me because I had sex with you? Sex you made it clear to me you were interested in having before you kissed me?”

“No, I’m fucking pissed off because you apparently just used me for sex as some sort of sick way to get revenge on me for doing my job last year.”

Jenna shook her head and moved into the kitchen, Jackson hot on her heels. “Oh, you’re really one to talk. You could’ve made your case against Chad without screwing me and we both know it. You’re damn lucky I didn’t file a complaint on you over it.” Her eyes tore through him. “I still could.”

“Yeah, good luck with that. My boss practically ordered me into bed with you that night to find out what you knew.”

“She what!” Jenna picked up his belt from the floor and threw it at him. “So, not only did you use me, but you didn’t even want to sleep with me in the first place?”

“No, I ignored 80 percent of the orders I got when I was out here before. I took you to bed because I’m a man and there was only so long I could control myself around your constant cock tease.”

“You really are some piece of work.”

“Yeah, well so are you. You came all the way out to DC to tell me you thought we should start over and then blew me off the minute I got out here.” He left the room to snatch his suit jacket off the office chair. “Either you’re one cruel bitch or you’re fucking insane.”

Jenna’s eyes narrowed.  “You know what? I was wrong about that. Starting over with you after everything you put me through was never a good idea.”

Her words hit him with an unexpected force.  Jackson thought nothing could hurt him the way it did when she’d told him she didn’t love him, but he was wrong.  Hearing Jenna say their second chance was a mistake caused a peculiar reaction. Rather than hurt, he felt uncontained rage bubble to the surface.

“No, Jenna.  The mistake was mine. I’ll never know how I honestly thought I was in love with you this whole time.” He stormed over to the door. “And for the record, there are plenty of women in this town who wouldn’t be so annoyed at the thought of having me in their beds all night long.”

“Then maybe you should go find one of those women and leave me the hell alone.”

“You know what? That’s the first intelligent thing you’ve said to me in a long time about this sick joke of a relationship we have.” He shook his head in disgust. “If you end up hearing anything about Raptor, fine. If not, lose my number. You’re more trouble than you’re worth.” He stepped out into the hallway, slamming the condo door behind him.

Jackson took exactly two steps, basking in his rightness before the enormity of what just happened hit him. Why did he say that? What was he thinking?

As he turned to go back inside, the deadbolt snapped into place with an air of finality.

If it hadn’t been over months before, it sure was now.

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