Rushing out of the restaurant the way I did was a mistake; one I didn’t realize until I was already home. Saying I wasn’t hungry was a total lie, but I couldn’t handle being out in public. As it was, I barely made it into my car before the hot tears burned through my eyes and slid down my face.
Now I was just pissed off.
One, I don’t cry, but more importantly, my rumbling stomach is an annoying reminder that I don’t keep much food in the house. I’m really in no mood to go back out to pick up something.
I don’t know why the rush of emotions at talking about my mother’s suicide caught me off guard. Other than Michael, I hadn’t uttered a word about it to anyone after answering all the necessary police and insurance questions. Not even Eric. Obviously, he knew what happened; I just never talked about my feelings. I couldn’t. Talking about feelings would be the first step towards feeling something on the matter. Numb was so much better.
At least I didn’t cry in front of Parker. Nothing about our arrangement was comfortable; adding a fresh layer of humiliation into the mix was unthinkable.
Angrily, I wiped the last traces of moisture from my eyes and I flopped down onto my couch. I frowned at the clock and picked up my cell phone. It was still too early to contact Chill on a Friday, but I dialed anyway. I didn’t have anything else to distract myself.
“You do not really get the whole man of the night thing, do you Songbird?” Chill snapped without saying hello.
“Not really. No. I just wanted to find out if you had found out anything I should know about yet.”
“You sound upset, Songbird.”
“No. I’m just…tired, that’s all.”
“Oh. Do you want me to come over and tuck you in?”
“Chill,” I warned, even though I was sure he’d provide ample distraction for the evening if I gave him the slightest indication of interest.
“Okay, okay, but we are going to have to work on that business and pleasure rule you have going. It is highly annoying and you should not torture yourself that way.”
I cracked a smile. “I’ll take it under advisement. Now, do you have anything for me or not?”
“Chill has lots for you, baby, but nothing on the information front. The streets are abnormally quiet, which means something is most definitely brewing. I just do not know what it is yet, but I will long before anything goes down.”
Wonderful, more dead ends.
“What about Ramsey?”
“What about him?”
“Have you heard anything about him?” I pressed.
“Not really anything new. I have it confirmed he has been after Raptor since he faked his death, but the details are sketchy. He is good at covering his tracks, Songbird.”
The doorbell distracted me from my train of thought. “Well, Chill, keep your ear to the ground for me. I’ve got to go.
I set my cell phone down and went to the door. I knew my face had to register my surprise once I opened the door, but I didn’t care. Parker was on the other side.
I honestly wasn’t sure the man knew I had a front door.
“This is a surprise,” I said as he walked in past me.
“You said you didn’t want any intruders, so I figured that included me, even though I’m hardly a common prowler. I thought you’d be hungry later, so I brought you your dinner,” he replied, vanishing into the kitchen.
I heard the rustling of a plastic bag and my refrigerator door open and shut before he reappeared.
“Thank you.” I was still in awe he’d used the door.
Parker shrugged. “No problem. Okay, I’m out of here.”
“You’re leaving?”
He walked over to the door and put his hand on the knob before speaking. “Yeah. You don’t seem into playing twenty questions tonight and somehow I don’t see you wanting to kick back on the couch to watch a movie with me.”
Huh? “Are you saying you’d like to stay to watch a movie with me?”
The faintest of grins touched his lips. “No. My mind’s usually too active for an activity so…passive.” He opened the door. “The weekend is yours. I’ll see you on Monday.”
The way he said ‘passive’ made me wonder if he wanted to say ‘plutonic’ instead. Given the current state of my emotions, I could be okay with that. In fact, if he could really make me forget how to count to 10, he could certainly take my mind off these painful memories. No question I was okay with that.
But I really didn’t like to mix business with pleasure, not that I knew why. I’d never been in business like this before. Maybe uncomplicated sex with my partner wouldn’t be a big deal. He was attractive, fit, seemingly interested in more by his sexual banter and standing in my living room. Hopping in the sack might even help alleviate some of the tension between us, which would make working with him easier.
Breaking my rules appeared to have plenty of benefits, but Parker was gone before I could suggest a more active way to use the couch than watching a movie.
After I locked the door, I went into the kitchen to reheat my enchiladas. I always hid my emotions from people, especially those I didn’t trust, but it was like he read my thoughts anyway. It was just as well he left before I made any sort of move on him. His ability to read me was unnerving and I could use a few days in solitude to fortify my mental defenses against him.
Still, I had to admit I didn’t know what I was going to do with myself over the next two days. Though little time elapsed since our first meeting, I was accustomed to Parker appearing at random moments. As I sat down to eat, I let myself wonder about how he’d be spending the weekend.
In a strictly professional way, of course.
© 2010, Sydney Katt. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use of content will result in dragon attacks.
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